


The Need to Feel

by Aora_li



Category: FFXIV, Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst, Everyone in FFXIV is fucked up, Feeling human, Friendship, Healing, I suck at this whole tag thing, I'm Sorry, If You Squint - Freeform, More than a weapon, Nothing wholesome about this except the ending I guess, Open ended?, Other, Possible Relationship, Possible Spoilers, Slice of Life, So has the WoL, Thancred isn't purposefully an ass, he's been through a lot, is that a thing?, it's there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 12:19:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18315149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aora_li/pseuds/Aora_li
Summary: Rated PG13 (T)Contains Content Not Suitable for Children Under 13.“I’m a fucking person too, Thancred! I’m not just-“ You silenced yourself, breathing hard as you allowed yourself to step back.I’m not just a weapon, a fucking tool. A monster built for war.You were so done with being hurt. Especially like this. Especially by people you thought yourself close to.~*~Tried making this as gender/species neutral as possible.





	The Need to Feel

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah. I haven't written a fanfic and posted it in what feels like three or five years. This is my first time writing one where the main OC is... genderless? Species...less? I tried making it as generic as possible so anybody could read it cause, you know, FFXIV. This is also my first dip into FF fanfics. Sorry if it's rushed. I just woke up.

He was back. Thank The Twelve he was back. He was back with his friends and he was safe. But even you could tell that his mind and body had gone through trials and tribulations. He had... distanced himself so much since his return. But that mattered not, he was still your dear friend. 

It was a cold night when you knocked on his door, a warm blanket wrapped around your shoulders before lightly prying it open. When you saw him, he was laying on his back facing the ceiling, eyes closed and no bandages. He almost appeared to be sleeping had you not whispered his name, letting him know that it was you who was in his room. _I needn’t want to get stabbed_ , you through wryly.

Closing the door behind you with a soft click, you shuffled over towards his bed, climbed on and carefully laid your head near his arm and chest. You felt him become tense for a moment, but you ignored it. He had always tensed about letting people in. About letting others see the real him. And now, with his beautiful face scarred and his eye touched in a way you couldn’t imagine?

Your hand fisted into his clothing, reassuring yourself that he was real, that he was there, that he was alive and back. You couldn’t help the awful shudder that left you as you took solace in this thought, in the sound of his heartbeat beneath your ear. You had already lost so many. You were all still searching for the other Scions too, and though a part of you dreaded what you’d find, you still held onto hope.

“I had been so worried.” You murmured, your eyes burning with relief.

“Warrior?” He asked, making you tense and break the spell. Whatever other thoughts you were having come to a halt as a cold wind swept into your very being.

You released him, and sat up. Not once had he said your name upon his return. Not. Once.

He seemed to have immediate noticed the change within you as he followed to sit up.

He had pushed everyone away when all you had all done was worry!

Moving to stand, his hands immediately moved to your arms and you shook your head, shuddering a breath as you covered your face.

“War-

“I’m a fucking person too, Thancred! I’m not just-“ You silenced yourself, breathing hard as you allowed yourself to step back. _I’m not just a weapon, a fucking tool. A monster built for war_. You were so done with being hurt. Especially like this. Especially by people you thought yourself close to.

Slowly, your face became a blank mask as your eyes hardened to steel. He physically flinched when your gazes met. “It’s fine. You’ll just see what everyone else sees, _Scion_.”

_The Warrior of Light. The untouchable, unfeeling, perfect killing machine. Not. Your. Friend._

You removed yourself from his proximity, the blanket that had kept you warm falling to the floor as you grasped at one of your soul stones. Your aetheric weapon of choice materialized in your hand and you immediately swept out of the room. The soldier outside of the door flinched before asked to bring your chocobo.

“My friend,” Alphinaud’s voice queried from beside you, seeing as you prepared to leave.

“Off to relieve our scouts. I am better suited there.”

As your chocobo was fetched and you climbed on, you could distinctly hear Alphinaud’s reprimanding voice being carried in the wind.

“-fix this.”

Arriving at your post, you hadn’t the faintest idea of when minutes turned to hours or how long you had been keeping watch for. You had turned your hurt and pain into a silent rage, keeping you vigilant and deadly as you killed the few fiends that drew too close.

By the time Alphinaud came in person, pleading for you to allow yourself to be relieved of keeping watch, did you concede. He knew of your struggles. He knew of your secrets. He had become one of the few that you could call friend after the whole fiasco and escape to Ishgard.

You were in the process of removing your armor, placing down your soul stone, when strong arms wrapped around you from behind.

You froze, breath hitched, before your _name_ was softly murmured next to your ear.

“I-... Forgive me.”

“This isn’t about me. This is _never_ about me.” You whispered, your heart breaking on the inside as you tried keeping the stony visage everyone thought you to have. Should have, in their eyes.

You were nothing. Just a tool.

Your eyes began to burn again, your next words soft and almost broken. “I had just wanted to make sure you were... somewhat alright.”

Thancred immediately turned you within his arms, embracing you fully in a way that allowed him to lay his head atop yours.

“No.” He shook his head. “I have done many callous things that I do not regret. But you, I regret hurting you, my friend.”

The damn broke at last, your body shuddering as you threw your arms around him, holding him tightly.He, in turn, held you just as tight.

Nothing was perfect. Nothing was guaranteed. But just for now, at this very moment, you could feel.

And it was such a relief.

“Thank you.”


End file.
